5 Days

Nana asked me how I was feeling. I said I didn't know. I don't think I will know exactly until Wednesday. I do know that every morning after I drop Matthew off at school, I am overcome for a moment with a mix of emotions. Many times I am overcome when I think about all of the friends, family, and strangers to me who are thinking about Jacob, who are praying for Jacob. I think about God all of the time. I believe that his plan for Jacob is to be my teacher, to show me what is possible, to show me what is important, and to show me who I am. Sometimes I am overcome by the thought of what I will never know. But only for a moment. I have to drive. On Wednesday I can be overcome but for now we have to attend to life. By the way, I told Matthew that Jacob will be in the hospital next week and he said, "but then I won't have a brother." Then he wanted to know who he would be staying with and what Jacob was going to the hospital for. I said that Jacob had a boo-boo inside his head. Matthew asked if they were going to fix his balance then. I said yes. He said how. And I said with special tools in his ears and nose. What to say?