Sunday, July 18, 2010

Midnight Crazy

Unravel at night. Knit myself back together in the morning. What will become of Jacob? What will become of Matthew? Fill the blog with images of beautiful children - happy and playful - to read about my own life, to feel a sense of peace, to remain hopeful. Pure joy. Pure agony. Anxiety about seizure-y behavior and neurosurgery, anxiety about the Early Intervention Model, anxiety about rehabilitation, anxiety about the "other" child who used to be the only child...

Why does he have to struggle? Why do I have to fight? Every day, all of the time? How does he love us all so much?

He doesn't know.

1 comment:

  1. I don't have answers...but I completely understand ((((((((hugs)))))))

    Let's try to do coffee or a playdate soon...