In the Middle

My husband Matt and I are both the middle child in our families.  A unique position.  Not the first born.  Not the baby of the family.  Jacob will be a middle child as well.  The little brother, the big brother.  Someone to care for him and someone for him to care for.  

Baby Aiden is due on the 26th of December.  He is Jacob's baby because Jacob said he will sleep next to the baby in his bunk bed and he will feed the baby.  He said the baby will ride with him in his Gator.  I said the baby will need Jacob's diapers so Jacob will need to use the potty...  

If not for Jacob's hemispherectomy surgery two years ago December 22nd, we would not be expecting Aiden.  I would not have had another child if Jacob had not made significant progress.

My baby is a boy.  As he grows, the scar circling his ear becomes smaller and smaller.  A mark of his rebirth.  A reminder of a past life.  We live blissfully in seizure freedom.  

Kindergarten

My husband sent his first teacher email.  I told him, "You know there's a problem when Daddy gets involved!"  Daddy is always involved but usually I'm the only one getting fired up.  Matthew has to keep a weekly Reading Journal, which we objected to at first because we like to do things the way we do things.  We don't like mandates.  But with some motivation from Nana, we decided to make an effort.  This past week, Matt and Nana read lots of books with Matthew.  So we were surprised when the Reading Journal came home and there was a post it note inside that read, "Sorry.  Matthew did not take his Reading Journal out of his folder."  What!?  I asked Matthew why and he said that the teacher takes the Journal out.  And obviously she did to place the sticky note.  Then I asked about the volunteers who come in to log his reading. "They didn't call my name.  Maybe they did when I was getting on the bus."  Poor baby.  My boy is not the most compliant child BUT he does understand social norms and knows how to behave in a school.  There is no way that Matthew purposefully did not take out his Reading Journal.  Why?  Because he has pride in what he does and what his family does with him.  I'm sure I sound like an idiot.  I have said it before, that I over react, that I am a little dramatic, but seriously... Sorry we left your child out and didn't acknowledge that he and his Daddy and his Nana worked very hard with him, but it's HIS fault.  Not mine.  Because he is 5 and I am 55.  And I am always right because I am the teacher.

Not on our watch.  She also sent a paper home with "x's" and a "-2" with a note that said to correct the work with a parent.  Matthew was supposed to color squares or circles according to the number written below each exercise.  For one of the numbers, the teacher wrote that there were too many shapes colored in and that you should always count twice. For the other number, she wrote that there were too few shapes shaded.  I applied my own teacher eye to the exercise and counted the number of shapes Matthew had shaded in for each number.  And guess what?  Matthew shaded nine shapes for
the number 6 and six shapes for the number 9.  She is the teacher.  Why did she not notice that he had confused his 6 and his 9?  Instead, she thinks he has no number sense and needs to send his work home to correct with his parents so they are aware of the "problem".  

I know what the problem is and so does Matt, which is why he emailed the teacher to ask her to clarify why Matthew did not take out his Reading Journal... Waiting for her reply...

The reply... Matthew put his folder in "the box" instead of "the green bin" so his Reading Journal was not discovered until after the volunteers had gone.  As Matthew told us, they didn't call his name.  He is a red folder.  No folder, no Matthew.

Happy Birthday

The posts are few and far between.  Life moves so quickly.  Jacob has turned four years old.  His face and body have certainly changed but he still looks like a baby.  He is still naive about the word around him, very innocent.  Matthew has been grown since he was three in terms of the complexity of his thoughts and emotions.

Jacob has been sleeping in his own bunk bed since the end of the summer after years of sleeping in Mommy and Daddy's bed.  I thought this was a necessary move developmentally and space wise since there will be a new baby in our bed in just a few months.  But we still let him lay with us for a little while before going to bed.  He is irresistible.  I say I love you Jacob and he says love you too.  And he does.

Jacob's IEP review went well.  I can tell that his teacher and therapists know him well, they are seeing what he can do and what he might do.  His speech has really exploded.  I only have difficulty understanding when he uses new words that begin with a "c" as far as I've noticed.

Grown Up

Given that this is my third pregnancy, I become highly volatile when asked if I am having more than one baby. I carry big. And our third baby is measuring large. My other two babies are also growing with me. I was cleaning out their dresser to get ready for winter clothes and I found a few 2T sweatshirts that had never made it down into the basement. I remember dressing them in the sweatshirts. They were so small then. Their faces are changing, their bodies are lean. Matthew is in kindergarten learning math. Jacob has his second IEP meeting in a month. His speech therapist wrote to me the other day to tell me not to worry about him repeating words over and over - it is developmental non-fluency - totally normal. We met with a hand and wrist specialist over the summer who believes that surgery will help correct Jacob's right hand. She said that he has good extension of his fingers and if we move a tendon from below to above, he will be able to straighten his wrist and his fingers at the same time. This meeting caused me to rethink our OT goals in the IEP. I think we may have been aiming too low in terms of functionality. He will be able to do more with his hand than steady a piece of paper or hold an object to his chest.

Anyways, I am thankful that Matthew decided to buy his own house when he is older but to sleep over at Mommy's and Daddy's house every night.

If I knew then...

The note I would have written to myself would have said "Just breathe. You will find your way." Link

eNVy

During the third season of Young Athletes, I decided to pull Jacob from the program. I was riddled with anxiety about his behavior. Jacob whined and cried more often than he participated. And I was newly pregnant and exhausted. Jacob was most successful during the second season of the program, which was held at eNVy gymnastics in Tiverton. So I signed the boys up for gymnastics classes this summer. Jacob has participated in two bouncing classes so far. I was peeking at him from behind the curtain this afternoon. He was following directions. He ran to a circle that was part of a line of circles on the floor and sat down. When he saw where his brother was sitting, he scooted over to a circle next to him. Unlike Young Athletes where Matthew would partner with Jacob to complete the activities, Matthew was in his own class and Jacob was on his own. I cringed. I am still cringing. But Jacob held his own. He ran. He jumped. He climbed. He bounced. For an hour. He can't do a seat drop on the tumble track like Matthew, but I saw him hop. Jacob doesn't know. He doesn't know that he is different because he is holding his own on his own. No mommy, no buddy, no bruh-bruh. I wish I could be him - that is how much I respect and admire this boy.

Follow

Since I spilled coffee on the computer a few months ago, I've been using the iPad to post but I don't know how to upload photos or videos. So follow this link. I can write about Jacob's progress, but seeing is believing. Please comment so I know you followed...

The Brighter Side

Jacob's speech therapist mentioned to me last week that he is blowing her away with his sentences. He still reminds me of my Russian grandmother's broken English but he's got ideas, memories, suggestions, and jokes. He was using the word "gammer" for about a month until I realized he was saying remember. To me this was significant because I was never sure if he had a concept of time, past or future. Jacob also had his evaluation for aquatic therapy and the Hasbro PT remarked that his balance was very good. He will primarily work on activating his right arm and hand to hold onto the edge of the pool and to move through the water. Once a week for six weeks. While I was there, I started to feel nostalgic about the constraint therapy program and put in an inquiry about next August. I still believe... Matthew had his first MANicure and pedicure this summer and loved it. He's also taking swimming, gymnastics, and karate. His behavior is always a challenge which I am managing with greater and varied experiences as well as with screaming until I fear the baby will go deaf.